She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
