apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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