we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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