i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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