So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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