there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
