Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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