piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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