weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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