You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
