South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
