There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
