i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
