3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
