I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
