Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
