I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
