Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
