Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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