My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
