if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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