Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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