I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
