Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
