just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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