You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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