piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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