Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
