The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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