I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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