Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
