we're blogging at a bar
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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