xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
