Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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