Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
