Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize