He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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