Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
mondays should just be called national damage control day
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
