oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
