dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
