You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
