There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Oh god it's open bar.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
