have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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