Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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