If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
