when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it's great music for shaving your balls
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
