Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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