i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
