I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
