I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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