Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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