Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
