I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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