therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
