yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
