you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize