I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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