I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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