I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
