everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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