"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i love accidental penises.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize