You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
