Plan B is the new Plan A
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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