Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize