I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
